Socien's Blog

I have a rich diary that I have been maintaining for five years now. To understand what makes me laugh I need to consult its services. Wait for it, I am going to search ‘laugh’ and learn from it what has been claiming a huge chunk of my laugh economy.

I am sorry folks. For these past five years, the word laugh appeared in my diary thrice. In all the cases it wasn’t me laughing. I was being laughed at. Substitutes like happy (4 appearances) and smile (4 appearances) are used for those moments I escaped the possibility of rage when I was insulted. Here is a case where a smile was used:

I should have felt offended by being called a spoiled boy all of a sudden, in an attack by words that came like a rupture, but I tacitly smiled.

SubjectMe 13Nov20

The problem is not that I don’t laugh. The problem is the solution. I prefer to write in my diary when I am depressed, in sorrow and mourning. Through depositing the ink on the paper, the pen vomits my sorrow away.

I broke my tears short, and I emerged with a smile. I then found some water with which to wipe my face.

SubjectMe, 19Jan21:21:00hrs.

To those still wondering I grew up in a family where violence was the norm. The entry above happened after my late Dad surged into his usual trick. He was drunk and Mom was a punching bag. Needless to say. I believe that there is more value in recording the moments we have been down and the methods we used to walk out of them. This alone will generate more laughter and happiness.

Related: What did my dad’s death teach me?

I don’t wish to know what makes me laugh. I need to know what makes me sad. I need to know the tricks I have employed to stage my recovery. I am happy that a simple smile pulled at point blank is one of those tricks. I have been down and have eaten in a garbage bin. The healing procedure that lifted me from misery is crucial.

I don’t have much to write today but I am asking any readers who know: How best can I get my diary to be part of the blog?