Socien's Blog

Clipping my in-ear monitor earphones, I played a Chillstep “Surrender” by Ferven. “We don’t say rising in love,” is a voice by Alan Watts (1953-73) on the playing Chillstep that brought the beginning of a change in my perception of love. “There is in it the idea of the fall.”

Moved, I told my girlfriend that love has this downfall effect. “It should half your ambitions; sweep you from your firm standing to truly be in love with someone.” I proffered this as my understanding of the Scott Spencer story that became a 2014 Comcast movie, Endless Love.

In the story, Jade, the protagonist, encounters love for the first time. Her transformation is so profound that her father laments, “I don’t even recognise her.” Previously, Jade’s scholastic achievements filled her parents with pride. However, upon falling in love, she makes choices that are uncharacteristic, such as abandoning her internship, which her father views as a crucial piece of her future professional aspirations. Caught in the throes of love, Jade is unwilling to leave behind her newfound love and her hometown.

Related:

• Inadequacy: Why do they cheat in relationships, how to prevent it.
• We do not understand what’s behind cheating.
• Meanings of “I love you” and physical affection when dating
• Why people cheat in relationships? The defence
• Relationships: How to end a point of no return?
• Is it okay to kiss (or not) before marriage?

Romeo and Juliet are entwined in love, yet they seem incapable of achieving success beyond their romance. The story appears to convey that they are doomed to falter in life’s other arenas, with love being their sole triumph. This is the heartbreak of a profound connection; it gambles everything, silencing any simpler choices that would mean ending the relationship or diluting the love shared.

This year, I delved into E. Abbott’s “History of Celibacy,” which posits that numerous eminent minds and notable personalities, including DaVinci, Isaac Newton, and Joan of Arc, attained their extraordinary status partly due to their embrace of solitude and their positive reception to abstinence. Abbott’s work comprehensively explores the multifaceted influence of celibacy across various spheres, from vocational and religious circles to the realms of invention, athletics, and politics, offering an exhaustive account on the subject.

To evade the adverse consequences associated with love, you might choose to remain unattached. By not falling in love, you can sidestep the potential pitfalls and dedicate yourself fully to your ambitions. It’s noteworthy that several remarkable entrepreneurs have experienced love, undergone multiple marriages, and faced repeated divorces. Their commitment to their visions robbed them the capacity to relay the best downfall triggering love, that is true love, to their sweethearts.

The way I see it? When you are giving your best, you pick up new dreams and interpret them as bigger than old ones even if they are compromises to the old ones. Giving your best and showing your partner that you love him/her becomes your main goal since true love erases much of proper reasoning. You let other important connections die so that you can build an even deeper connection with the one you love. This happens whenever the love you have for your other one is true, even if you are not getting it back.

When you truly love someone you blow up opportunities that are so life-changing just to deliver some care to the one you love. There are, however, instances when one’s love is true but fails to let his other one see that s/he truly loves him/her. People have been known to erupt into excessive emotion when they are rejected for offering a shallow love.

A coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her

Bob Marley

Bob Marley condemned those who stir a woman’s affection without the resolve to love her back as cowards. The reason is that when a woman’s love is ignited, she often experiences a decline, sacrificing her principles to devote herself to the man. It becomes an act of extreme cruelty to then subject her to neglect, mistreatment, and spurning after she has relinquished her values and self-respect. Love is a paramount duty, whether it’s bestowed upon a partner or a child.

How to build true love?

1. Give your best: When you succeed in earning someone’s affection, ensure that your love isn’t divided among others. Strive to give your utmost. Love operates on principles similar to a business; however, it trades in affection rather than currency, where investing more love yields greater returns. To cultivate authentic love, one must be generous with their love to receive it in abundance.
2. Expect no respect, be gentle: When you wholeheartedly devote yourself to your significant other and they reciprocate, it nurtures a serene bond where respect naturally finds its place. Respect typically follows love. In the context of a loving relationship, respect and fidelity are akin to earnings that are accrued by diligently giving the finest love possible.
3. Expect nothing back: Loving someone doesn’t guarantee personal gain. Genuine love flourishes when both individuals are prepared to sacrifice, even if it means diminishing their personal goals, to nurture their union. Love should not be viewed as a favor bestowed upon another. Once you start to commoditise everything you give, true love runs away.
4. Make meeting your boy/girlfriend cheaper: Do not put unnecessary distance between you you and your love by failing to down scale. Meeting shouldn’t be expensive.  If you can’t afford restaurant bill in one weekend, it is still fine. You still have to meet and share a hug and an eye-to-eye conversation.
5. Communicate: How does the girlfriend know that her man is broke for the weekend. Men are programmed to fein an atmosphere of wellness even when ends are not meeting. But there there is nothing that gives life to a relationship than a genuine conversation. You both shouldn’t be afraid of discussing your past and present issues because true love chases after truth.
6. Look into the future. Be hopeful: Some relationships are boring before marriage at a certain point. You may date someone who is already in love and emerge as the real deal.