Socien's Blog

In relationships, I realise that winning an argument or a fight doesn’t necessarily mean enjoying the conflict. This insight came to me while observing a fight between a female turkey and a hen on a farm. Although the hen initially had the upper hand, a human intervened and held the turkey for a while. During this break, the turkey seemingly honed its fighting skills and returned with a strong advantage in the latter part of the conflict.

After human had left the theatre of conflict to attend to his issues, the winning turkey was just hoping that the losing chicken would just give up already. The chicken was short and had a featherless neck which extended the surface erea available for turkey to inflict excruciating pain. Whatever its disadvantages were, the chicken stayed in the fight.

The turkey did not find satisfaction in this type of triumph. The conflict was draining and seemed never-ending. Both animals had likely realised beforehand that this battle would result in the demise of both.

When it gets boring a relationship can resemble this fight. It sort of traps the victor and the loser. The victor is not happy with his victory because it lacking one thing,  peace. The loser is not happy either with the loss because a victory is lacking. The loser is sure chasing after victory.  But the victor is chasing after what’s yet to be found i.e. peace. The result is what I wish to call a point of no return.

The victor has the victory already and is not happy with it,  and should s/he be happy it is not thanks to the victory s/he just attained but the loser giving up on attaining victory. Such victories are meaningless and they are all you get should you choose to fight in a relationship.  They make you gain your upper hand as the man in the house, the smart talker and so forth, but they never give you what necessary: A peaceful relationship.

Fights are normal. But before we can have a winner it is important to cease the hostilities before any damage is done.