Socien's Blog

My girlfriend confessed that she felt that way. She said she thought to make me consider her valid she was left with no choice but to use her body, and bypass complaints to make me happy with her. Being a student she couldn’t afford to call whenever I failed or to send me a tip for lunch each of the rare times I told her of my skipping the lunch.

In an article Do women like men who give them highs and lows? I brought this opinion up, saying that it’s a tool of manipulation men would use in relationships. They somehow intentionally and, in my case, unintentionally, make her feel like she is contributing less. She is thus likely to become a victim

It’s either she is up to finding a relationship where she feels she is contributing more. Or that she hurried herself into contributing more at the expense of being herself and enjoying the relationship more. She presents herself for exploitation. It’s both fortunate and unfortunate for her that men come in three variations.

The first has no intention better than exploiting. So they would be happy to find one who is willing to be exploited. This kind of man is comprised of cheats, and emotional and physical abusers. They alienate whoever they are in love with from one or two things in their lives. They reveal what they think is only necessary to trick the woman into believing that the man is invincible.

The second variation is made up of good men whose intention is to love and enhance the one and only lucky woman. They lack manipulative tendencies, and they might not be able to trick a woman with highs and lows. They therefore may not be able to trick the woman to pour all her heart in. But this group of men is pure gold.

A different opinion: Sometimes when you feel that you are contributing less and present yourself to “exploitation”, you may have done what your relationship needed to move forward. This does not matter if you are the man or woman presenting yourself for “exploitation”. The reason I am putting exploitation in brackets is thanks to the subjectivity of the matter we are dealing with.

My girlfriend, thinking that she was contributing less gave up a church girl who thought it was a sin to kiss before marriage. (Check: Is it ok (or not) to kiss before marriage). She now had to put me to bed frequently. I exploited her, right? Someone will ask you what you think premarital relationships are all about in this century.

When she reduced herself to “exploitation” she threw away a boring church girl and gave me a modern church girl. She was twenty-five and I was twenty-eight. There was still more than two years of waiting ahead. I sure needed what was more than ending a conversation with a handshake like we were at a summit or something.

Do you feel you are contributing less to your relationship? They say if you think that you are becoming something, you are already that something. You need to genuinely talk to your partner. Do not start with words like “I am useless to you, huh?” Just saying the words “I love you” mean a lot. Your relationship needs this kind of contribution.

Among those things, you can afford to do for your partner do not fail. If you can not afford to send a birthday gift, do not miss sending a birthday message. Love him/her as you would have done if you were contributing more or less. When you have no sense of urgency to deliver your love you enjoy the relationship better.

When it’s men’s turn: The culture grooms males to be aggressive, independent and dominant. The reality in the world is otherwise. A modern man just like a woman can depend on anyone.

Given this mindset sowed in the system of a man while growing up, it can hurt him when he is the one contributing less in a relationship. He may feel irrelevant when he is depending on a his lover financially.