Human desire is activated by challenges

I hate to reach conclusions. More than such, I feel answers, and before them, questions are the power source my progress feeds on. But here I was having concluded, a mere mortal whose existence is a matter of an ongoing struggle in which questions are asked and answers are found.

I bet death is a point where no more answers can be found and no questions can be asked. Those who commit suicide do so because they are so tormented to the point where they are left with no choice but to rush themselves to this point. A conclusive point. Now if I offer nothing but conclusions to my readers, I am no different to a teacher who takes his own life just to avoid further questions.

Since I had no choice, here is an outline of a problem that led me to the conclusion. Looking back at the relationship I have had with my current girlfriend, I wondered how she kept loving me more even when I seemed to be a man who was far from loving her as she was. In one conversation (WhatsApp), when I was about to sleep she asked if she could come over and sleep by my side. In my response, I fired molten words, “You don’t seem to be the type of a woman who can share a bed with a man he never married.” She asked what had led me to assume so. “Your dressing,” I concluded, “It seems you way conservative.”

Since this thread—a reason I now ask the readers to forgive me on her behalf —she never met with me wearing her dresses. What I know is it was very expensive for her to make the switch. The economy of our country and her financial background combined were going to make things harder for her. My support wasn’t going to be enough for her to accomplish the switch to reaped jeans. But she did succeed. The switch itself was because she was doing all in her imagination and straining to impress me. But because her her desire for me had sent her into acting whatever it asked her to. Now, the question is why she chose me, not someone else who could have possibly loved her without anticipating any changes on her.

Allow me to speak for us all by saying: We are more likely to strive to be around people who do not love us as we are; people who scold our dressing, our eating and our body shapes than to move on. But we can decide to move on where we are welcomed as we are. We intend to love the contest and win through a fight rather than win without a fight. Hence when we are given a challenge and hardship to go overhaul as the only means to win the desire battles of our lives like to be loved and to succeed in this life our desire is activated.

Chances that I will date a girl next door are surprisingly low. My desires are activated by the thought that there must be some form of a fight, travels involved and weeks spent apart for me to be in love. Once there is a possibility of weeks spent apart I will wear them down and try to see her every week at the cost of anything else.

An agonist will go and date a very religious person not because s/he wants to be converted or s/he can’t find people of his kind. One friend will follow the pressure from peers not because it is enjoyable. But because it is a challenge enough to activate his desire for it. There should be a burden involved for the desire to be activated; whether it’s the desire to love, to succeed or to ruin.

Unlike the desire for success, your desire for love and the actions it produces falls on and interfere with a conscious and animate organism that can interpret it—the one you intend to be loved and loved more by. The decision is not merely one-sided (you alone) but it is a product of two or more sides (you and the one you love or the constraints that may fall between).