Socien's Blog

When you’re seeking advice and there’s an abundance of it, you might be more susceptible to manipulation, confirmation bias, and second-guessing compared to someone who can’t find advice. For instance, if my sister asks for my opinion on her dress before going out, my answer remains the same even if she persuades me to be completely honest. This scenario is similar when she seeks (or doesn’t seek) my input on decisions she needs to make. Read: Things to consider before adopting advice.

Your inner circle tends to align with your predominant beliefs and thoughts, often sharing similar views. When you encounter a lack of bias towards your intentions, it might be because your approach challenges societal norms. For instance, in my community, the common belief is that one should find a job, earn a living, and be a providing father. People may not understand that blogging could be a good decision, especially when I’m not yet earning from it.

When you notice signs of stagnation and limited breakthroughs, you may find yourself overwhelmed by a flood of advice, once you set sail on it you drift back and forth in a sea of confusion. During this time, opportunities slip away, your resolve to pursue a single goal weakens, and time runs out. As responsibilities increase, you may find it increasingly difficult to continue following your older passions and purposes. As you drown in uncertainty, you realise that what you need is advice. It is around this time that the best advice you get can easily be a toxin to end you.

In the article “Fear of Criticism Affects Decision Making,” I expressed the opinion that there exists a group of critics, perhaps better known as predictor critics. They offer alternative words of false hope, urging you to abandon your ways. They encourage patience in pursuits you were never meant to thrive in and give up your old ways. This form of manipulation is effective when it is not recognized as manipulation, when there is a fear of failure, and when the critics present a convincing ‘prophecy’ of the future. They persuade you that continuing your current path will lead to failure while following their advice will lead to better outcomes.

Joan Miró’s cautionary words, “If you have any notion of where you are going, you will never get anywhere,” resonate deeply with me. When I write stories or novels, I avoid using an outline because it only serves to highlight how lost and directionless I am before I even begin. Predictor critics are akin to that outline, except their criticism isn’t penned by your hand. They offer unsolicited advice and predictions, making you feel as though your current path is doomed. Their words can be discouraging, leading you to question your instincts and creativity. Instead of guiding you, they can stifle your progress and diminish your confidence.

They shorten the distance between you and the future they are persuading you to pursue, while simultaneously increasing the gap between you and the future you originally envisioned. Do you want to know why they succeed so easily? It’s because, as Johann Wolfgang von Goethe eloquently expressed in “The Sorrows of Young Werther,” we all yearn for the distance between us and our glorious future to be short. This longing makes us vulnerable to their convincing narratives, as they promise a quicker path to success and fulfillment. However, in doing so, they divert us from our true passions and the vision we once held dear, leading us astray from our authentic journey.

Here is von Goethe for you: