Socien's Blog

Narcissism, defining our self-worth, and validation has always been a part of human nature; however social media has created digital and seemingly endless means of having our basic needs for acceptance met. Attention addiction has increased relevance in today’s social media environment.

Edwards, F. (2017).  An investigation of attention-seeking behaviour through social media post framing.

Disclaimer: This is not an academic article.

Building from the above statement, I am pretty convinced that attention addiction builds dependency on attention. It assumes the path followed by any addiction, which eventually leads to dependency. The path to greatness, happiness or fulfilment could use some attention. Still, it does not depend on attention to materialise (One is likely to drown in suffering when s/he misses the attention on social media when s/he anticipates it. Or when s/he gets it and fails to be enhanced by it in real life). It simply invites you to be resourceful with the limited tangible and intangible resources—attention included. Yes! Attention is a resource—just having someone who gives you attention as part of what defines the relationship between you and that person is enough light to guide you to your growth.

More often than not, social media yields an attention threshold you cannot get offline, at least in terms of flowery comments and messages you get. These comments and messages come from people who have no responsibility over you, your needs or wants. You do not share joint responsibility over anything, e.g. kids and family, with these people on social media. So you come to them with zero burden. It is easy to perceive that they care because their attention is unrestricted by frustration and many other negative thoughts and disagreements people who make your physical world encounter when dealing with you.

Attention is cheap to get through social media for the first time in humanity’s history. Pryzbylski et al. suggest in their article Motivational, emotional and behavioural correlates of fear of missing out that the need for social attention and connection drives people to seek out easily accessible forms of social interchange such as those provided by social media.

Of course, social media may somehow fill the void of attention in the physical world. But once it does, standing out as a cheap source of attention, it quickly eliminates the need for attention that comes through trade. You earn Attention in the real world on a quid pro quo basis. You have to give away something to gain something. If you decide not to participate in this trade, you will repel people from your physical world.

It’s not all joy trying to get attention through social media—an effective purging system propagating traits defining beauty and wealth that many of us lack. It seeks to kill many traits you inherently and naturally have. Now, you must do whatever it takes to gain approval, leading you to gain attention. There are even online tutorials instructing about achieving many likes on Instagram and other social media platforms.

Losing your original self in a bid to gain approval and then attention makes attention on social media an item earned only on a quid pro quo basis. Except in this case, you are clueless about the means to attain that approval. When you know how to achieve the approval, it is mostly not in your power to earn it because you can’t just eliminate the physical and financial features that define you to appear better on your social media profile. You can’t discard the contours on your face and recreate a new one. You also get old—you face lows and highs in your financial situation, and you might not always be able to keep up. You can’t buy fancy stuff to show up in. Still, you pretend that you have it at the cost of any relevant progress in the physical side of your life. All these are vital ingredients for losing your happiness.